The First Day of the Rest of My Life

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Last night was the Relay for Life. Thanks to a pretty creative fundraiser, our group raised over $1000. I also found out that I'm not the best prayer ever.

(When I say "prayer," I mean "one who prays." I don't know what that noun is, if anyone does, please help a brother out...)

A couple of people got together and constructed a cardboard cross which we invited members of the church to attach intentions to, written on paper hearts. Most of them were prayers in remembrance of those who died from cancer. Our intention was to dedicate one lap for each intention. After a few laps around the dirt track, and seeing how slowly the stack was diminishing, we decided to take one heart for each person walking that particular lap (in other words, if five people walked a certain lap, we had five people to pray for). After starting at 7:00 in the evening, we finished the stack at around 3 or 4 in the morning.

About halfway through the night, after reading yet another heart, I started wondering if my prayer actually made any difference. I realize part of the communion of the Church is praying for the intentions of others, but I started to doubt whether my contribution was worth it.

As much as I talk about being Catholic, I really don't pray that often, mostly because of my belief that I'm not much good at it. Some people, when called upon, can deliver the most beautiful, poetic and heartfelt prayers. When it comes my turn in most prayer circles, I usually just stammer about some insignificant concern that I'm going through at that time. ("Lord, show me your way when I decide what to order later at Chili's...") That's kind of what took me back a bit when my friend said that I'd make a good priest. (That, and the rampant self-abuse, but I digress.)

Don't get me wrong, I love my faith and my Church. But sometimes, I wish I could be better at being Catholic.

P.S. According to the good people at, "prayer" actually can mean "one who prays." Guess I am a cunning linguist after all...


  • Prayer isn't about how one puts together words. It's about what truly is weighing down on your heart. It's not about the words you say but saying what is important to you and telling it to God. I think sometimes people put too much stress and pressure into prayer. Prayer is just a truthful conversation with God. God knows you and your heart. He just wants to hear from you and get updates.

    Hopefully this helps. I wouldn't worry too much. I'm sure you pray very well.

    By Blogger Buscador, at 8:30 AM  

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