The First Day of the Rest of My Life

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

I called in sick today. Spent four hours talking to a doctor and getting prescription filled. What fun a day off can be, eh?

I was able to pick up the latest issue of Men's Health. While leafing through the pages, trying to learn new workout manuevers to try next month, there was an inset in a story about recharging your sex life titled "8 Ways to Make Yourself Irresistible to Women." Since most of the readers of this blog are women (most of the members of my blogroll are, anyway...), I'd like to share them with you and find out if these are indeed true.

1. Plan that trip you've been putting off.
2. Get a $100 haircut.
3. Browse organic markets.
4. Become a regular at someplace plush.
5. Renovate a room.
6. Throw a bash.
7. Read Gabriel Garcia Marquez novels in public.
8. Donate your time or money.

I spared the extra explanation lines for brevity's sake. So, ladies... is any of this true?


  • ummm. Huh. Can you imagine having the job where you have to come up with these articles?

    I'll give commentary on each action.

    1. Just do it for yourself. Maybe you'll meet someone. Maybe not. But life is meant for enjoying.

    2. I don't know about $100, but one should never go cheap on haircuts. A quality cut is important. Improves self-confidence, says you care about your appearance.

    3. In search of organic women?

    4. Only if you want to meet someone who expects you to keep up that lifestyle. And not all women would be impressed.

    5. Living in non-embarrassing quarters is important. I have found myself less attracted to men who live in overly spartan or worse -- decorated in sports and beer poster -- surroundings.

    6. Could be fun. Doesn't improve your sex life.

    7. If you'll enjoy the novel, sure. Me I'd be peeved about bait and switch if I met a man I thought was a reader who turned out to read nothing but SI.

    8. Both noble ideas, and if you're committed to them they might help you meet someone likeminded.

    None of this is going to change your life. Don't try to be who you aren't. Do things that make you feel happy and good about yourself and you'll be set to attract the right kind of people.

    By Blogger ~profgrrrrl~, at 6:08 AM  

  • I generally agree with profgrrrrl, with one exception:

    None of this is going to change your life.

    I would say that, if one doesn't typically do things like take pride in his dwelling and how much it represents him and the lifestyle he's always wanted, or if he's never taken part in charity work or made regular donations, then yes, doing these things for the first time can change his life, and perhaps bring him closer to the person he's always wanted to be.

    But, like you said, profgrrrl, it has to be something you're genuinely interested in, and genuinely passionate about. Don't do it to meet women. Do it for your own sake. Men who have interests outside of "impressing women" are, in fact, irresistable.

    I think the general purpose of those points might be, "Become an interesting person - YOUR OWN person." Become a person who isn't your typical bachelor; one who has interests outside of meeting women, like travel, renovation, entertaining friends, reading, and working to improve the world. Most single women I know are looking for more than a man to link arms with: they're looking for interesting things to do WITH that man. Travel, redecorating, etc... are great ideas!

    By Anonymous veritate, at 9:36 AM  

  • First off, the tips were written by the magazine's "Girl Next Door," Nicole Beland.

    Here are my reactions.

    1- The article recommends really exotic trips (Bolivia, Fiji, Norway), saying that a man would emit a glow. Judging from my most recent trip, I figure I didn't go exotic enough. (Though there was that gal from the TV station I danced with...)

    2- Maybe just to say I've done it, maybe. Although, recently I've been going to Great Clips a lot.

    3- "Healthy, happy, successful single women channel unused sexual energy into a deep hatred of pesticides."- N. Beland. My only problem with this tactic: the nearest Whole Foods store is a half-hour drive for me.

    4- I tried this last year, hanging out a bar downtown somewhat often. Got old real quick.

    5- Whenever I get my new place, I'll try this out. (Who knew I could count on Paige Davis to help me get dates?)

    6- Last big bash I threw got me sued, but not screwed.

    7- First, I've never heard of the guy. (I read Nick Hornsby, is that good enough?) Secondly, what's wrong with SI?

    8- Definitely something I've considered (more along the lines of getting involved with groups at church). Really has yet to pay off.

    By Blogger Greg, at 8:00 PM  

  • Going to what you said, Rae, I agree with you on a few things there. I've done many things in the hopes of attracting women: learn salsa, discovered dressing well, stayed in a beginning-level Spanish class in college. Some have changed my life, some haven't. Honestly, most of the things I do usually have the ulterior motive of meeting women. (You think I'd give up a Wednesday night to hear a guy talk about family planning without some promise of meeting women?) I'm still trying to find a combination that seems most agreeable; listing "game show fan" in an online profile just doesn't seem to be helping much. Someday, I'll find something that sticks.

    By Blogger Greg, at 8:12 PM  

  • I'm gonna have to go with veritate on this one.

    Maybe you could try not worrying about meeting women so much (nothing says 'stay away' to a woman more than that desperate vibe), and/or not put such a premium on whatever overblown significance you think that type of relationship is going to hold for you. A romantic relationship is not the end-all, be-all of human existence. Thinking thusly will only succeed in putting way too much pressure on said relationship and will ultimately make it collapse. Whoever this supposed 'woman for you' will be will not save your life, nor is she expected to. Perhaps letting go of those and other misconceptions will help you become more content with yourself -- by yourself.

    But I do wish you the best of luck in finding someone (mazeltov, godspeed), and I don't mean to diminish it's importance. Just do yourself a favor and stop trying so hard.

    By Blogger Sandra, at 12:01 PM  

  • those things would not make a person irresistable. though organic markets might be a good place to pick someone up... but if you're not into it, what's the worth of dating someone who's really into that stuff?

    you got to be your own person

    gabriel garcia marquez is awesome, actually. chronicles of a death foretold is one of my favorites; one hundred years of solitude is his most famous. but if someone is like "you read that book, let me get with you," they have some PROBLEMS.

    By Blogger Pico, at 3:04 PM  

  • Just to clarify on my "not going to change your life" comment -- I meant that doing these things just to meet women won't change your life. If you read them and think "I really want to be the kind of person who (eats healthy organic foods; has a cool house; has great haircuts; etc.)" and then try it and commit to it for *you*, then that's great. But when we do these things for others it just isn't the same. And women see right through it as well.

    I went on a few dates with a guy who was trying to be the kind of guy I would date. As soon as I realized it, the whole thing was painful. He told me he hoped I'd shop with him and help him look like the kind of guy I'd be proud to be seen with. WTF? Then he told me that the one pair of jeans he wore when I saw him were the only ones he though I wouldn't balk at. He wears his others -- apparently massively cuffed (what year is this? but he digs it apparently) taper levis -- around town and loves them. I couldn't help but wonder why he'd want to date someone he wouldn't want to be himself around. And then ditched him for it. (Not for his lack of fashion sense -- but for his inability to be himself)

    By Blogger ~profgrrrrl~, at 10:27 AM  

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