The First Day of the Rest of My Life

Monday, March 29, 2004

I figure it's been long enough between posts.

The attacks have been less severe. I don't believe I can really call them "attacks" anymore, just episodes of heightened anxiety or worry. No heavy breathing, no tingling in my hands. (Thank God...) I've been on the aforementioned drug in the last post for about a week and a half now. I've made an appointment to see a counselor about this (tomorrow after work).

I've been needing stuff to take my mind off of what got me panicked or the panicking since last week. Me in a silent apartment/master control room/bathroom hasn't helped. I've needed noise of some kind to try and keep my mind off of it. Game shows, Trading Spaces, MXC and movie comedies have been the soundtrack of the last few days. Things that haven't helped: reading about mental illness (meaning I won't be renting Girl, Interrupted, A Beautiful Mind anytime soon), and being by myself (I have a new appreciation for hanging around Suzanne and my folks). Anyone have any ideas to help me out further?

Monday, March 22, 2004

Gimme an X...

I had such high hopes for this post. Sharing my new favorite term (South-by-South-Sex), calling Carla Jean the Mike Remlinger of dating... but something came up along the way.

Gimme an A...

Wednesday night, my roommate, his girlfriend and I went out for some beers. We dropped her off at 1, went to another bar, then went to crash at his parents' house. And that's when it happened.

Gimme an N...

It's happened a couple of times before. I'd panic that I would fall asleep and not wake up. After some time, I'd fall asleep, wake up, give thanks for waking up, and I'd be over it. This time, it wasn't so short.

Gimme an A...

A day and a half later, I was still panicking. Shortness of breath, knots in my stomach, heavy breathing and tingling in my hands. Now, I have a few ideas on what might have caused it (alcohol, no food, stress, lack of sleep), but I have no idea why it kept going, or why the worry continues now.

Gimme an X...

What's that spell? A new chapter in my life. I just hope to God that this is one that ends quickly.

Monday, March 15, 2004

Okay, Amy... here you go.

So things haven't been going that well in either the gaining of dates or the losing of weight. I haven't been going to meeting or eating healthy-like. I haven't written too many e-mails (the two I have sent have yet to garner a reply).

So a friend and I are looking to go to New York City in April. Not seeing many nice, cheap hotels in Manhattan (does such a thing exist?), I've been looking at short-term apartment rentals. Of course, my friend still has to ask for the time off, so who knows if this trip will even happen...

Any advice on dieting, dating and drifting would be most appreciated.

Friday, March 12, 2004


- Not-so-great results in weight and date.
- The search for the perfect New York City apartment.
- Wanderlust.

Thursday, March 04, 2004

Okay, so certain commenters want me to give them more info. Carla wants to know just who I am. (Good luck with that one, I'm still trying to figure that out...) The reason I link so much? To make sure my suggestions get read. I realize there are less hassling ways to do as such, but I just like to cover my bases.

As for the other commenter's question, the only swinging I do is on a playground.

To elaborate on my Mardi Gras story...

I met with some friends at a London-type pub for some Hurricanes and fun. Two people of the four I was with left at around 9, so I went with the other two (both women, one a lesbian) to some gay bars. Our first stop was a place called the Bermuda Triangle. (insert bad lesbian pun here...) We entered, and found only 5-7 other people, including bar employees, in the building. I thought folks there would be more than happy for the business, but it turned out not to be so. We headed to the bar, one of the gals and I complimenting a friend of our's chest. I made the mistake of saying aloud, "Yeah, she's got great boobs." To which the female bartender said to my friend, "You should know better than to bring a straight boy into my bar!"

Now, I wasn't TRYING to cause any trouble, I just wanted some alcohol. We each had one drink and left to go to a couple of other places. (One of which gave me my first experience with a drag show.) All in all, a good night. I just wish I got more sleep before I went into work the next day.

So, to review...
- WHO AM I? TBD....

Hopefully, this will clear up some confusion.