The First Day of the Rest of My Life

Saturday, August 31, 2002

I am REALLY wanting to get some cash and move out of my parents' house.

This girl I know (Sandi) called me up today to let me know that she passed all her exams to become licensed by the FAA to be a mechanic on planes. I'm actually pretty happy for her, she's been working for what seems like forever and a day. My mistake was telling my folks about it.

Thing is, me and Sandi have a bit of a... history. We first met in freshman year of high school back in 1992. I thought she was pretty cute, but she was always hanging around the seniors. There were rumors about her, but I still continued to like her. After disappearing from the earth, she popped back into my life during my senior year. After a while, she became my first. (And my second, and my third, and my...well, you get the point.) Then came time for me to head to Austin to begin college life. She started becoming a bit... mental, I guess. And I (along with some help from my folks) decided to not talk to her. Didn't see her for a couple of years until a chance encounter at a restaurant. She gave me her number, I called her, and we ended up having sex again. I then realized what I was getting myself into again, so I literally ran out of her building. She then told me that she was pregnant and that I should not contact her again.

After a period of a few months, I found out that she lied.

Anyways, in these past few months, I've talked to her on the phone a few times, and have only met up with her once or twice (she always seems to be too busy). She's crazy about this guy who lives in Dallas now, and seems to be looking for employment in the DFW area. So why can't I talk to this girl without catching hell from my folks?

Another reason for me to move out: money.

Went bowling tonight with my friends. My dad told me that he would give me some cash to cover it "against his better judgement." I'm glad that he could hold his nose enough to shell out a few dollars for some fun. Truth is, things have been kind of stressful around here, what with my dad being laid off from his job a few months ago. Even worse, if you'll remember my July 1 post about wanting to take a trip... well, that never happened. Even though I had enough money OF MY OWN to go somewhere, they said that I "should concentrate on looking for a job." A whole summer later, and no job. I doubt a few days would have changed things.

Sorry for the bitter tone, folks. Just some stuff I needed to get off my chest. Any thoughts?

Thursday, August 29, 2002

Okay... thanks to the "recently published" list, and a lucky link, I found another closet "Idol" fan. Here's what she has to say about it. Even better... she's a Longhorn. }:8

Dear Greg,

I just wanted to let you know that I am doing very well without you. I thought that I would be doing a whole lot worse but I'm not. Truth of the matter is that I am moving on. I know what I need to do and what I need to work on. I'm realizing that there are so many other things that I want to do and explore. Anyways, I am happy and that is what matters. I guess you could say that this is an ending of a personal era for me. It has been a ride I will never forget. I still care about you and I hope that we can be friends sometime in the future. Goodbye, good luck and I wish you every happiness. :)

Your "I'm a survivor" friend,


This e-mail was waiting for me yesterday, right before I was to take a test for a job I was applying for at UT. (More on that later...) Anyways, I actually tried going by her new place before visiting with my friend Michelle. She wasn't there, and wasn't answering her cell phone, so I decided to leave well enough alone. She did call me back when I got back into S.A.When I mentioned the e-mail to her, she said it was all a front. A big lie. Turns out she's still in love with me. Yeah, THAT wasn't awkward at all... She told me to take my time about thinking it over. I think I'll take my time in getting back to her about my feelings. I mean, she did make me feel good (she even told me last night that she loves my wishy-washiness). But I just don't see us being boyfriend and girlfriend anymore.

In other news, turns out Playboy's latest Big XII issue is causing a lot of ruckus. Thank God I didn't even think about going to Baylor...

Alright, I admit it... I WATCH "AMERICAN IDOL"! Ever since my uncle asked that I record an episode for him, I've been hooked. It's almost sad to see so much attention given to a person who will have spent at least 10 of his or her 15 minutes before they even have a deal. My biggest attraction to the show is the sheer emotion of it. When you break it down to it's most basic level, it's pretty much a glorified karaoke contest. But to see a person's dreams get dashed on live TV... can't beat that with a stick. (Truth be told, I actually thought that Kelly Clarkson was a UT student, but I never found her name on the UT directory.)

Put out two job resumes today: one for insurance giant USAA, and for a part-time gig at the local FOX affiliate. Hopefully something will hit soon. I'm getting tired of being poor.

Monday, August 26, 2002

Another cool random blog of note... Forever Brown. Saw it on the "recently updated" column, I just HAD to visit... What can I say? I love brown. ;) (By the way, why is it that every New Yorker hangs out with beautiful people?)

For the person that's writing the book on blogging, let me offer a tidbit.

Blogging Rule #74- NEVER reveal a crush on your blog, EVER!
If you'll remember my last message, you'll recall how I declared my attraction toward a certain online friend of mine. Well, after I posted the message, I told her that I had updated this thing. And, stupidly enough, I gave her the URL for this thing. Needless to say, I haven't talked to her since. Not that I had much of a shot with her to begin with, but I'd have better luck hitting on 20 at the blackjack tables.

So this week is a big week for me. I'm hoping to hear from a local university about a job I applied for some time ago, I go to Austin on Tuesday to take a test for another job, as well as to make a demo tape at the station I used to work for to apply for yet another job. Add in a doctor's appointment, and a visit to Retama to use a prize pack that I won over the weekend, and the ingredients are there for a good week (I hope).

So I had a friend over on Friday night. Another female Internet friend of mine whom I've known for about 2 years now. (You're starting to see a pattern in my dating style now, aren't you?) Anyways, I went to San Marcos to pick her up. We hung out by ourselves most of the evening before we met up with John (the guy who convinced her to come down in the first place). At the beginning of the night, she expressed an interest in getting drunk. Of course, I automatically liked my chances of getting to make out with her. But, yet again, I struck out. This got me to thinking about something I saw scribbled on the sidewalk in Austin once...

"If at first you don't succeed.... redefine success."

Why is it that I place such a high value on physical stuff? Isn't a mental/spiritual connection usually more valued? (Then again, it's been forever since I've had one of those either...) Of course, I'm still working on being able to talk to women more confidently than I have been. As you could tell, it's not going as swimingly as one may hope, but it's still early in the game. I figure things will pick up as soon as I move out of my parents' house. I just hope and pray that that day comes REAL soon...

Another thing has gotten me thinking about women. My friend Raelyn got married a couple of weeks ago. I wanted to check it out, but it didn't happen. (I also wanted to see my friend Amy that weekend, but that, too, didn't happen, courtesy of Ma and Pa.) I had SUCH a crush on her back in the day, but thanks to her having been hurt in an online fling in the past, the stars were crossed from the beginning. Anyway, as fate would have it, this hard-core Catholic girl ends up marrying an atheist who used to date her roommate. Why the hell can't I be this lucky?

It sucks when venting frustration can't be more poetic, but this is the best you're getting out of me tonight. G'night.

Wednesday, August 21, 2002 HAS been a while.

Okay, some quickie updates:

Suzanne visited me for probably the final time two weekends ago. We had broken up for about the fifth or so time, and she wanted to come down "as a friend." Turns out she still wanted to get back together. She got upset, I tried to make it better, we both had a miserable time. So now we're trying a period of not talking for two weeks, ending on Tuesday. We've actually talked a couple of times since, mostly due to an emergency with her mom. Don't worry, all is well now, but there were a few calls of concern. So we haven't actually done it, I guess I'll have to extend the deadline when I talk to her on Tuesday. (I'll be going to Austin to take a test for a job I'm applying for.)

So I'm TOTALLY smitten with this girl I've been talking to online. She goes to aTm (Texas A&M, for those who don't know), but she is SO hot! Her profile will prove it. Her birthday was on the 18th, I'm thinking of going over to lovely College Station (ha!) while I'm in Austin. Wish me luck with that...

Anyway, I'm rather scatterbrained tonight. I'll post more tomorrow. I PROMISE!