The First Day of the Rest of My Life

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Had dinner with my folks tonight. As we left, my mom said, "We never see you." Nights like this seem to illustrate why.

Mom called me this afternoon, asking me to meet them at Chili's after they went to Mass. I got there about 6:10, with them waiting for me to get there and put in my order. Thankfully, they had a Miller Lite waiting for me. I wasn't in the best of moods; I was in another one of my "woe is me, no one will hang out tonight" phases. But soon after I got there, I got a bit of a smile on my face. (Seeing UT pull ahead of Florida Atlantic helped.) Then, my dad said something that I didn't quite expect.

"We're expecting to be grandparents when we turn 65."

During my twenties, I didn't hear any of this sort of talk. Maybe a little when I was dating the ex who shall not be named, but only because of lack of serious girlfriends I'd had up to that point. (They said that they gave her a cheap rate on rent because they thought she would become their daughter-in-law.) But these sorts of hints have been dropped more often. I joked that they were going to install a "24"-esque countdown timer in my condo.

I told them about how I ended things with the Cougar, they told me about how they wanted to intorduce me to a Bolivian (or Peruvian, or Venezualan, I'm not sure) woman who would "put her husband first." My dad also told me about his hobby of inquiring about the marital status of waitresses when my folks go out to eat.

"I see you marrying either someone quite a bit younger than you, or just a little older," he said. Good thing I live a stone's throw away from a college campus.

Now, all of a sudden, I have a biological clock. I only hope I don't go crazy about it like that countdown like I did the countdown to my thirties. (FYI- my folks turned 61 in June. 47 months to go...)

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Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Okay, okay, I finally did it.

I went to Stacey's place to hang out with her while she was packing. I ate my dinner, and we watched a little bit of America's Got Talent. (The opera singer should totally win, IMHO.) After a while, I turned off the TV and we had a heart-to-heart. She told me about her frustrations with finding a quality house that she liked in her price range. After a couple minutes of silence, I decided it was time to let her know about my feelings.

She gave me props for being honest (something I hadn't been good at in past relationships). She said that I'd have to sacrifice a lot to be with her. Part of me wonders if this was an escape hatch for me, her, or both of us.

"You never loved me," she said matter-of-factly. And it was true. I may have come close to saying it before, but I was never truly in love with her.

After my announcement, she went to assemble another packing box for glassware. I helped her box four wine glasses before she said, "I think you should go."

I gathered my stuff, went to the door, turned back to see her looking away, said "Take care of yourself," and left.

This was the most honest breakup I've done. Somehow, I can't help but feeling a little like an asshole. Old hat, I guess.


Sunday, August 24, 2008

So I'm still trying to end things with The Cougar. I tried to last night when I went over to her place. My hastily thrown-together plan had me taking her to dinner, then having a conversation at her place about how I wanted to find "the one."

I still took her to dinner. But after a drink, we went back to her place and wrestled. I stayed over and wrestled again in the morning. (For those keeping track, I've slept with her at least ten times, but haven't gone to Mass with her once.) I figured having the talk in the morning wasn't the best idea, so I kept my mouth shut as I left. She's under a lot of stress right now, dealing with moving, finding a new house and her son starting high school. (And to think, I kinda had a problem with the last gal I was seeing having a six-year-old.)

Anyway, I start this week trying to throw myself into other endeavors. Mainly looking for a new job and trying to avoid weighing 190 lbs. A gal I kinda like told me in an email, "It seems like you are questioning a lot in your life right now--maybe you are wanting to go in a different direction?"

She's right. I'm just having a Dickens of a time figuring out what that direction is.

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Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Saturday night, I prayed under the stars in the Texas Hill Country with a good friend of mine.

Sunday night, I watched a few minutes of porn on my computer.

Last night, I watched swimming and gymnastics.

Tonight, I helped plan this season's topics for Theology on Tap.

Some week I'm having, huh?


Wednesday, August 06, 2008

In lieu of an insightful post about my recent thoughts about possibly joining the priesthood, I give you my second appearance on the Pop Candy blog.

More to come...