Something to get me blogging again...

A gal I've been on a few dates with sent me a birthday survey. I'll share my answers to her with you; see if you can guess which answers I held back on...

What is your weakness? Pretty women
What are you fears? Being alone, dying
Describe your Perfect Pizza? Lotsa pepperoni, lotsa cheese
Tell me about your most missed memory? Times with my brother
Pepsi or Coke? I go both ways. ;)
McDonald’s or Burger King? McD's, usually, only because it's closer
Favorite thing from each place? McD- Big Mac BK- Texas Whopper
Favorite dessert? Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie
Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate
Favorite food? Free
Favorite restaurant? Don't really have a favorite
have you gone Skinny Dipping? Not yet
What are you craving? *shrug*
Favorite Movie past, present or future? Rocky 10?
Favorite time of year? Summer
Favorite Color? Blue
Favorite part of living in San Antonio? People, food and sports
Favorite Part of living in Texas? People, food and sports
Describe your ideal date? One where her and I are both laughing it up
Favorite activity? Being lazy

Yes, I realize I haven't posted in a while. Here's an update to my life in bullet points.

- The job I interviewed for? Never heard back from them. Might have something to do with all this bailout stuff, but I never even heard a "no." Tried emailing them a few weeks ago, but still nothing. Figure I shouldn't hold my breath.

- I am in the process (a little) in applying for another job. It's in a field I was in before. Less pay than what I get now, but hopefully there'd be more enjoyment.

- A girl is coming to visit me from out of town. No formal plans have been made, but she'll be flying in during early January. I'm excited to meet her in person after talking with her over the phone for the past few weeks.

- I'm in the middle of a weight-loss competition with my family. Whoever loses the highest percentage of body weight by the end of the year wins. Each of us put in $50, winner takes all. The scoreboard right now reads as follows:

• Me: -1.06%
• Mom: 0.0%
• Dad: +3.9%

To be honest, I've not done much in the way of diet or exercise. I figure I can try to make a big push during these last few weeks.

- A friend is going through a tough time with her marriage. Without sharing too many details, she's undergoing an abusive relationship (emotional and physical). The only thing that keeps her going (according to her) is her son. If anyone out there has any ideas on how to help, please let me know.

Okay, so it's been a while. Here's what's going on with me...

- I've been going through a few doctor's appointments, first for some concerns with my heart. Now, I find that I have a lesion on my liver. It could be something, it might be nothing, I'll be going through some other tests with a gastroentorologist. Yet, I still had fast food the past few days.

- I had a date on Tuesday night. That's right, the same night history was made by electing Barack Obama, I went out with a girl. I had tickets to the Spurs/Mavs game that night, and asked out R. I met her at Theology on Tap. (Sound familiar?) Turns out she's an avid McCain supporter. (It's always fun and games until the word "baby-killer" is used.) But the non-political discussion was cool enough, thinking I'm gonna ask her to the game next week to see how she is when her candidate isn't giving a concession speech.

- By the way, not that it's any of your business, but I voted for Mr. Obama. Now I'm just hoping he doesn't screw it up.

- Heading to Cleveland next week as part of another meetup for the Pop Candy blog. If you're counting at home, that makes four such meetups this year, all out of town. Maybe I do need to start finding new friends in this town.

- Had a second interview last week for a new division at my current company. I've interviewed with them before, but this is the furthest I've gone in the process. Since I was off work this week, I haven't heard anything yet. Hopefully I will soon.

Need to get this out of my head before I fall asleep (hopefully I fall asleep sometime soon...)

Earlier today, I concerned a few people with a status message on myspace: "Greg just took another name off the list."

I called up Johanna this afternoon after leaving work (I put in about three hours of OT). I left her a voicemail, asking if she wanted to get together for beer and Longhorn football. I met her during a physics class at UT. A few months ago, I found her on facebook. We started hanging out every few weeks, just for Mexican food and conversation. She's a med student who enjoys marathoning and windsurfing.

About an hour or so later, she called me back. During the span of our 94-second conversation, she informed me that:

• she didn't have much time to talk
• she moved to Corpus for her studies
• she was in town for a string quartet performance, and
• she met someone.

I took the news about as well as I've taken news like this in the past, treating myself to a large pepperoni from Little Caesar's (as well as some bad heartburn, apparently). I figure I'll get over this in a day or so (hopefully). But I guess one fact has become crystal clear: if you're a woman with a graduate or doctoral degree (or on the way to getting one), chances are you'll shoot me down.

Had dinner with my folks tonight. As we left, my mom said, "We never see you." Nights like this seem to illustrate why.

Mom called me this afternoon, asking me to meet them at Chili's after they went to Mass. I got there about 6:10, with them waiting for me to get there and put in my order. Thankfully, they had a Miller Lite waiting for me. I wasn't in the best of moods; I was in another one of my "woe is me, no one will hang out tonight" phases. But soon after I got there, I got a bit of a smile on my face. (Seeing UT pull ahead of Florida Atlantic helped.) Then, my dad said something that I didn't quite expect.

"We're expecting to be grandparents when we turn 65."

During my twenties, I didn't hear any of this sort of talk. Maybe a little when I was dating the ex who shall not be named, but only because of lack of serious girlfriends I'd had up to that point. (They said that they gave her a cheap rate on rent because they thought she would become their daughter-in-law.) But these sorts of hints have been dropped more often. I joked that they were going to install a "24"-esque countdown timer in my condo.

I told them about how I ended things with the Cougar, they told me about how they wanted to intorduce me to a Bolivian (or Peruvian, or Venezualan, I'm not sure) woman who would "put her husband first." My dad also told me about his hobby of inquiring about the marital status of waitresses when my folks go out to eat.

"I see you marrying either someone quite a bit younger than you, or just a little older," he said. Good thing I live a stone's throw away from a college campus.

Now, all of a sudden, I have a biological clock. I only hope I don't go crazy about it like that countdown like I did the countdown to my thirties. (FYI- my folks turned 61 in June. 47 months to go...)

Okay, okay, I finally did it.

I went to Stacey's place to hang out with her while she was packing. I ate my dinner, and we watched a little bit of America's Got Talent. (The opera singer should totally win, IMHO.) After a while, I turned off the TV and we had a heart-to-heart. She told me about her frustrations with finding a quality house that she liked in her price range. After a couple minutes of silence, I decided it was time to let her know about my feelings.

She gave me props for being honest (something I hadn't been good at in past relationships). She said that I'd have to sacrifice a lot to be with her. Part of me wonders if this was an escape hatch for me, her, or both of us.

"You never loved me," she said matter-of-factly. And it was true. I may have come close to saying it before, but I was never truly in love with her.

After my announcement, she went to assemble another packing box for glassware. I helped her box four wine glasses before she said, "I think you should go."

I gathered my stuff, went to the door, turned back to see her looking away, said "Take care of yourself," and left.

This was the most honest breakup I've done. Somehow, I can't help but feeling a little like an asshole. Old hat, I guess.

So I'm still trying to end things with The Cougar. I tried to last night when I went over to her place. My hastily thrown-together plan had me taking her to dinner, then having a conversation at her place about how I wanted to find "the one."

I still took her to dinner. But after a drink, we went back to her place and wrestled. I stayed over and wrestled again in the morning. (For those keeping track, I've slept with her at least ten times, but haven't gone to Mass with her once.) I figured having the talk in the morning wasn't the best idea, so I kept my mouth shut as I left. She's under a lot of stress right now, dealing with moving, finding a new house and her son starting high school. (And to think, I kinda had a problem with the last gal I was seeing having a six-year-old.)

Anyway, I start this week trying to throw myself into other endeavors. Mainly looking for a new job and trying to avoid weighing 190 lbs. A gal I kinda like told me in an email, "It seems like you are questioning a lot in your life right now--maybe you are wanting to go in a different direction?"

She's right. I'm just having a Dickens of a time figuring out what that direction is.

Okay, so I'm working on getting the sidebar description changed. Just as soon as either: I learn how to code HTML better, or Blogger stops being screwy.

Okay, so about the woman I've been seeing. The Cougar (as I've taken to referring to her to my friends) and I have been going out for a while. It started rather suddenly. We met at a lecture series for Catholic young adults that I emcee, she came the first night after hearing about it somewhere, and became a regular soon after. We became friends, and would talk on the phone sometimes (usually about my girl troubles). Then, one afternoon this Spring, I met up with her at a bar.

We shared a couple of beers and some pizza, before she had to get home to her son. I walked her to her car, hugged her and went to peck her on the cheek. Before I knew it, her tongue was in my mouth.

We've been out quite a few times, but I've been hesitant to put a name to it. Only because one night, during the afterglow of wrestling, she said, "we don't have to put a name to it." Imagine my surprise when, a few weeks later, she told me a story about how she told a friend of hers that we were dating. (During this time, I had been seeing a couple of other women as well.)

Long story short, I don't think she's the one. When I asked her about it, she said that I deserved someone that could give me what I was looking for.

"I've done that, I've raised a child," she told me tearfully last week.

I meant to end things with her last night, but after seeing an ABC Primetime special on the late Randy Pausch, things got a bit emotional. (Another long story short, I ended up spending the night at her place.)

So I guess, like Ted Mosby, I'm now looking for someone whom I can tell a story about for 3 or 4 seasons. Should be an interesting ride...

Last night, I had sex.

Tonight, I heard my neighbor having sex. From what I could tell, she was enjoying it greatly.

Somehow, I'm jealous of my neighbor.

"You think too much."

This was told to me by a woman that I've been kinda seeing these last couple of weeks. I don't know why, but I think this helped me out more than the hour I spent talking with my counselor.

Oh yeah, did I happen to mention that the woman is 37?

When I got home from work today, a package was on my doorstep. I was expecting something from the out-of-town woman I've mentioned here before. She said that it was stuff for me and for her, some things that she would "pick up" from me later. The contents of the box included:

• A musical greeting card that plays "Satisfaction" by the Rolling Stones.
• A hand-written note, folded up old-school with an "open here" tab.
• Nine photos, four of her and I, five of just her.
• A red photo frame with a picture of us from the night we met in Austin.
• A paper bag containing a tube of female response creme, a tube of strawberry-flavored "GoodHead," and a strawberry-flavored condom
• One pair of extra low-rise hipster panties (black with pink lace, if you're curious)

"Just open it and don't freak out on me" was her advice to me when I told her I got the package. I haven't freaked out on her yet, though I plan to later tonight.

If nothing else, there was a bit of bubble wrap in the box. And I love me some bubble wrap...

Yesterday, the password was "jealousy."

I originally planned to head out to Fiesta with some co-workers last night, but those plans ended up falling through. I then texted a friend of mine who works in another department to see if she was up for hanging out. Her response?

"I'll give you a buzz later. I was out with my boyfriend last night, so I didn't get a chance to call you back."

True to form, I moped about it for the next few hours. Now, I've not been out with her on a date, but with other people from work. She's a Nice Christian Girl (who can move her hips surprisingly well), and I took a little bit of a liking to her. But it turned out that the message wouldn't be the only stomach punch I would receive yesterday.

That evening, I headed over to a friend of mine's place for some barbecue. I figured I can get some cheap beer (and avoid some of the hassles and dangers of downtown) there. I hung out with my friend, his pregnant girlfriend, and her five-year-old son. During the night, other friends came and went, including two other toddlers. Towards the end of the night, a guy named Tate was expected to arrive.

"Hey, can you open the door when he gets here?" my friend asked of me. I figured that was the least I could do in exchange for drinking his last Red Stripe. A knock came from the front door a few minutes later, and I went to fulfill my duty, only to get a shock.

I didn't notice the guy much when I opened the door, but I sure did notice his +1. Her name was L, an old friend from back in the day. She worked in my area when I had my first summer job. We kept in touch a bit during college, but fell out of touch soon after graduation. She's an engineer living out of town, and apparently going out with the man named Tate. (Even though the man was taller than me, he seemed doughy enough to make me think that I just might be able to take him in a fight if need be.)

I actually underwent two stomach punches in the minutes that followed. The first while seeing her and and her man hold hands on my friend's couch. The second was reliving an incident that happened back in Austin...

(insert wind chime/flashback sfx here)

L came into town one weekend to check out a Toga Party held by my fraternity. I had a bit of a crush on her (she's cute, smart and brown, what wasn't to like?), but couldn't get myself to make any sort of obvious move. (This was during the period of time that I thought one should be "friends first." What I didn't know is that that strategy usually ends up as "friends only." ) I did end up kissing her in my dorm room the night before the party. The next day, while meeting up with friends, I introduced her as "my friend L." That night, at the party, she ended up making out with a Swiss international student who was pledging that semester. She saw how bummed I was toward the end of the party, and tried to give me a charity grind to cheer me up. (Don't I have wonderful friends?) I don't remember much after that, except for giving the two of them a ride home (with them in the back seat.) I dropped him off at his place, and took her back to mine.

(insert flashback return sfx here)

I ended up leaving my friend's place during halftime, so as to not have to witness Tate and L's cuteness. I came home, witnessed the Spurs' domination of the Suns, and went to sleep. I'd like to say I'm over the events of yesterday, but seeing how an incident seven or eight years ago sent me into a mental tailspin, I'm not sure I believe it.

GREG BY THE NUMBERS
("Time Is On My Side" Edition)

21:50- time elapsed during a phone call with Amy, a teacher from the Midwest who I've been out with thrice, during which, I told her that I didn't think it would work out between us due to lack of chemistry.

10:18- time elapsed while I solved a Sudoku puzzle online, while on the phone with Amy. I stepped away from the computer during the speech, but came back to enter the last two numbers.

2:37:17- time elapsed during a phone call last night from a woman with whom I've been talking for a few weeks. (You may remember her from a recent bar story I shared.) I've already been to visit her in her hometown (southeast of mine), she's coming here this weekend with friends to hit Fiesta and visit me. As for what was said during the phone call? None of your business...

30:00:00:00- from right now, the amount of time left in my twenties.

2:00:00- time I just spent watching "Deal or No Deal." They had a special guest on, if you didn't hear.

Remember when I wrote my ex an e-mail?

Well, I tried it again, forwarding a copy of the original letter to another address that I remember her using. And today, I found this in my inbox:

Dear Greg,

I haven't replied in awhile because I just got back into the states today
from a trip to (foreign country). I really enjoyed the trip but I have some major
jetlag going on.

Anyways, I really appreciate your note and I accept your apology. I'm really
happy that you had a good experience on that ACTS retreat.

Just remember that I've always known you were a good person. Don't ever
forget that.

Hope everything else is going well for you.

Sincerely,

Suzanne

I guess this is what they mean by closure...

I went to Austin last night. The evening consisted of the following:

- Learning about sexual purity during the drive up.
- Having a dinner date with a blind woman and her seeing-eye dog.
- Drinking on 6th St.
- Dancing with a young lady.
- Inappropriately touching said young lady while on the dance floor.
- Meeting up with said young lady at her hotel after the bar closed.
- Dryhumping with said young lady.
- Waking up semi-early (8 or 9 am) to depart the hotel room before her friend woke up.

If it wasn't for this party coming up, I'd stop going to Austin altogether...

Facebook Ettiquette Question:

Okay, say I just happened to find out that I gal I had quite the crush on during college is on Facebook. And say that she happens to be in my town, as luck would have it. And say that the last time I talked to her was on graduation day, 5 1/2 years ago.

A) Should I friend her?
B) If so, how should I go about it?

EDIT: After a couple of days, she accepted my friending. Now I have to worry about the messages...

I hate being your friend.

Okay, I'm glad you decided to drive three hours to watch approximately 15 minutes of a basketball game with me. But driving another 90 minutes in the dead of night to visit your ex is something different. I'm not happy with my town becoming known as a way station for booty. (Oh, I'm sorry, all you two did was talk...)

You've got two exes trying to win you back. Congrats. But please stop telling me about it. You told me the ex you visited was jealous of me (something I find preposterous), but now I'm the one getting jealous.

No, I don't think we'd work as a couple. A person that wouldn't vote for a presidential candidate because his name sounds slightly Arabic isn't someone with whom I can hold a conversation. I just hate that you, along with the 79 other female friends of mine, can't see me as anything but a friend. (And people wonder why I drive so far for booty myself...)

Guess I just wanted to get this off my chest. I SO wanted to tell you this when you were here, but I decided to be a nice guy (again), and not add to the situation. Maybe you'll see this, maybe I'll actually say it to you. But I just needed to get it out in the open.

How do you break up with someone you're not together with?

I guess it's high time for an update with my new friend. Gina and I have been going out for the past few weeks, but we've not progressed to any sort of comitted relationship. Her wall, her friends, her drinking and smoking have been the major obstacles in us getting closer.

Maybe it's my fault for falling a bit too hard. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't picking out china or designing a website or anything, but I did like her quite a bit. I never got that same feeling from her, though.

The day after her sister's birthday party, about a week ago, I tried to have The Talk via text message. She was going to bed and replied she couldn't answer the "Where do you see things going with us?" question. The next day, I tried calling her to ask the question again, and (true to form) got her voicemail. I haven't heard from her since then, and I really haven't taken much effort to talk to her (save for including her in a mass text I sent last Friday asking for drinking buddies).

I was ready to send her a myspace message ending things, but you can't really end something that isn't started, correct? I guess I'll chalk this up as something to give me more experience and knowledge on what not to do (namely, show any emotion).

It was fun while it lasted, I guess...

I would blog. I really want to, but I'm not in a good state mentally or physically to do so. I'm not sure if it's a chili burger I had, or something going around at work, but I've been put down the last couple of days. I'll just let stuff spill onto the keyboard...

- Getting into a new position at work, just as soon as my spot is filled. No raise or promotion is involved, yet a lot of people conmgratulate me on this new gig. I wonder about that place sometimes...

- I applied with another company for a financial advisor position. A personality profile stopped me from being considered, even before an interview. I've been trying to not be bitter, but it's just so hard.

- My costume won rave reviews at work and at a party put on by my new friend. I even won a ribbon and a fifth of Crown at the party! I even wore the thing to 6th St. in Austin on Halloween night. During that night, I found out one of two important life lessons: I'm more comfortable being someone else than I am being myself.

- Oh yeah, the secret ingredient that helps to break down the wall? Alcohol. Seems she's only affectionate after she's had a few. Not that I'm wanting to get too physical, but I still feel like I'm still getting to know her 2.5 months later. How much patience is too much?

I promised you an update on my new friend, so here it is.

Last night was our fourth date. I made her dinner, with the help of Mario Batali. Once again, however, my cooking skills turned a recipe that was given at 30 minutes to make into one that took almost an hour. Some cabernet sauvignon helped to pass the time, as well as some conversation about life (which was a welcome departure from the silence that marked the last two dates).

After dinner, and a split cannoli, we headed to the other side of town to a karaoke bar. A friend of hers was throwing a party, and we ended up getting there fashionably late. While sitting there, listening to bad versions of Bon Jovi songs, I got a bit bored. Things got so bad that when my friend texted me (the one who set us up), I told her that this might be the last date.

Up to this point, I'd had a hard time getting a read on her with regards to how she felt about me. I thought she was pretty and all, but didn't know if all the hoops I'd been jumping through during the past few weeks were going to be worth it. My friend conviced me to just ask her.

On the way home, I asked my date how long it takes for someone to get into her inner circle. Up to this point, I'de noticed her doing anything for her family and friends. She made mention of the wall she puts up. I then admitted to her my not being able to read her. As we pulled into her neighborhood, that's when things got serious.

While sitting in my car in her driveway, she revealed to me that she'd been through a lot. She admitted being on anti-depressants and going through therapy. (Not that I'm one to judge.) We talked for about ten or twenty minutes before I walked her to her door. We did the cheek-kiss thing, and as she stepped through her front door, I said, "Thanks for bringing down your wall just a bit." She did ask for patience from me.

Up to this point, I've come thisclose to stopping things altogether several times and chalk her up as another friend. Not that this is a valid reason to do so now, but I figure I have my own fish to fry, how can I handle someone else's problems?

Tonight, I did take one step to get me "back out there," as it were. I signed up for three-month memberships with two different dating sites; the Catholic site I belonged to a year or so ago, as well as a more popular site whose name will not be mentioned here. I figure this would help get me out of the house a bit more, as well as maybe help sharpen my social and dating skills.

My new friend is nice and pretty. She's fairly intelligent and (as mentioned by her a million times before) she'd do almost anything in the name of friendship. Not that I'm actively looking for an escape route, but I'm wondering how to handle something that may come down the pipe if things develop with anyone from the sites.

Any ideas?